That time I scheduled a good cry

igor-son-320878-unsplash.jpg

So today was a first: I literally scheduled time to cry (yes, it’s come to this). I gave myself permission, space, and time to feel all my feelings.

To not only acknowledge them, but to let them speak and be heard. To come to the surface. Often we see breaking down as a sign of weakness. So we bury our feelings. We push to “stay positive” and if that doesn’t work we see ourselves as failing to be better, to be stronger.

The truth is, not fully acknowledging your feelings and replacing them with “positive thoughts” (or “solutions)” is not being strong. You aren’t honoring your true self in this time. Stuffing things down and hoping they go away by focusing on something else doesn’t work. That darkness slowly eats at you from the inside out. I know this first hand.

When I “don’t have time to be stressed” and ignore my feelings, it seems like it works for a while. I pretend not to notice that I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. Meanwhile my body slowly (or sometimes quickly) begins to break down. I get sick to my stomach. I have a constant throbbing headache. I become irritable and frustrated more easily. I’m tired but can’t sleep. I start to tirelessly research remedies for the symptoms, wondering why I’m sick yet again. While the whole time, the remedy is free.

GIVING PERMISSION

So I’m trying something new. I’m letting myself fully feel the bad, the hard. I’m welcoming any and all feelings with open arms and listening carefully.

Today was a powerful day.

I had no concrete expectations. I decided to schedule a time specifically to cry (because I had been repressing this urge to let it flow all weekend). I literally wrote cry on my to-do list in my planner. There was a little check box and everything.

At first as I sat, nothing came. I thought, well this is silly, I guess I’m fine. Then, it all came out. Not just the tears, but the feelings. I let them all come.

There was a lot of hard shit and hard feelings happening. But I sat with them. I pulled up a chair for them. I told them it will be okay. But it’s also okay to be not-okay at this time. I let whatever come and go. In the end what I really felt was relief. My problems were not gone, but I felt supported and oddly refreshed.

“WHERE I AM NOW IS OKAY. I AM WHERE I NEED TO BE”

I learned a huge lesson today. Sitting with myself and acknowledging my own feelings, good or bad, is vital. It may sound stupid (we’re with ourselves all the time), but without stopping to fully listen to and check in with our bodies and minds, and honor any feelings that come up, we remain disconnected. And how can we do the real badass work we want to do when we’re disconnected from our own person?

I want you know if you’ve been checking in lately? What has come up?

photo credit: Igor Son

Natural Deodorant

Deodorant is one of the first things I changed when going au naturale. I used to religiously use secret clear gel (“little black dress safe”). Until the drastic change in my health that lead me to look in to living holistically, I never once thought about deodorant being bad for you. Or any beauty products. I have always had very sensitive skin so as long as it was “good for sensitive skin” and didn’t give me a rash, I was good. But the truth is, what we put ON our body is just as important as what we put IN our body.

Deodorant works by killing bacteria and neutralizing smell. Antiperspirants have ingredients like aluminum and zirconium to clog your glands so you don’t sweat. There have been studies linking antiperspirants to breast cancer and Alzheimer’s disease (and some arguing against this claim). Sweating is your body’s way of preventing overheating and getting rid of toxins. Using antiperspirant messes with your body’s natural ability to do its thing. And aluminum aside, these products are full of other chemicals and hormone disrupters.

I get it. No one likes to be the sweaty, smelly kid. But the good news is that there are some better, healthier deodorant options! One note when trying natural deodorant is to not be turned away on your first try. It took me several. Everyone’s body is different and it also may take some time for your pits to adjust to the toxic-free life.

My Natural Deodorant Pick:

Real-Purity-Deodorant-Review-Natural-Deodorant-Well-CreatureReal Purity Roll-On ($11.99)

I tried 3-4 other products before I landed on this one and have now been using it for a year and a half. I started with a few clear solid deodorants but they gave me rashes. If you have very sensitive skin like me you may need to avoid any deodorants with baking soda. Real Purity is all natural, baking soda free, has a clean neutral smell, and has an ewg rating of 2. It also doesn’t mark up your clothes, as long as you let it dry first. I find myself occasionally re-applying if I’ve had a super intense workout or have been outside in 100 degree heat for hours but it’s worth it to me (and honestly — I’d probably feel the need to reapply toxic deodorants in those situations too).

 

[I have no affiliation with Real Purity; I just found their product on Amazon originally, tried it, loved it and can recommend it]